Separate Ceremonies

Taken from Pagan Blog Prompts:
If you were to plan your own Wedding or Funeral ceremony, would you create two separate ceremonies for pagan and non-pagan folk, or would you just plan a ceremony around your own personal beliefs? How would you feel if any non-pagan friends or family did not wish to attend such a ceremony?

My cousin got married on August first, which is also the day I’m writing this. Her husband’s parents are both Christian ministers, and thus the ceremony was obviously Christian.
The church, funny enough, was the same church my parents got married in. It is a nice enough church, but very old fashioned. On the main altar, there was the triple moon symbol, which made me laugh, because it’s a symbol of the Triple Goddess. What really freaked me out was the “Flag of a Christian Nation” they had right beside the Canadian flag. I didn’t expect it.

So, this begs the question, what would I do for my wedding?
I actually have a couple of scenarios.

Let’s say I marry someone with a very open mind, and is willing to have a pagan ceremony. First off, I’d work on finding a pagan priest or priestess who was legally recognized by the province of Ontario. I know there are some, probably in Toronto. If I was unable to find a priest or priestess who is officially licensed by the country, I would have a small civil ceremony at a courthouse with the immediate family, and the witnesses (if they weren’t a sibling), and have a religious ceremony after the fact.
I would like to get married in the early fall, dead winter, or late spring, so mid-October, January, or the end of March. For the legal pagan ceremony, I would opt for late spring or early fall, so we can have the wedding outdoors.
I would rent a good hall (I’ll let my mom handle that one!), and make sure it would have a nice set of grounds attached or right near there, so we would have the actual ceremony outside. Then, we would have some photography there, or some at a studio. Dinner would then be served in the hall which would be decorated in Egyptian fashion using Egyptian colours like gold and lapis blue. We would have good food (Italian if we can get it). On the table, there would be plates as centerpieces with little glass votive holders for lit candles, and instead of a mirror, or glass beads, I would have Jordan almonds as decoration around the candles for people to munch on throughout the night. As a take-away, I would give everyone a votive candle in one of my “colours”. Wrapped around each candle would be a piece of paper with a general wellness candle spell. If people don’t want the spell, they can just toss the paper and keep the candle.
I wouldn’t have traditional “pagan” music, because I don’t like that sort of thing, but I would probably have Egyptian/Arabic belly dance music because I love it!
Also, instead of clinking glasses or something like that to get us to kiss, I would suggest naming a deity from the Egyptian pantheon. People know the main ones, and if people know ahead of time, they can just Google “Egyptian pantheon” and write a few down.
I would probably be a little disappointed if my non-pagan family chose not to come to my wedding, because they are my family and I have respected their beliefs for ceremonies like weddings and funerals, no matter how insulting I find them. So, if I respect them, I would hope that for my wedding, they would respect me.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m very lucky in the fact that my family is generally open minded, and for something like this they would let me have 100 percent say because it’s my wedding, and I could have a pirate, or a superhero wedding, and they would respect it.
My mother has mentioned before: as long as my marriage is legal, either through the religious ceremony, or a small legal “signing of documents” in the courthouse, it doesn’t matter what I do. As long as it’s legal.

Of course, knowing my luck, I’ll marry someone with
A) Religious parents
B) Is rather religious himself
C) A combination of both
Okay, so, I don’t mind that much. In this case, I would do one of two things.
In the first case, we still have the more Egyptian pagan reception, and I would agree to be married in the religious ceremony of my future husband. I would make the request to change “God” to “Spirit”, and maybe ask if they could say “in the name of the Father, Son, and Sage or Spirit” instead of “Holy Ghost”, if the religious leader would agree to that. I know that my childhood ministers would agree to adapt a marriage ceremony to fit my needs, so I would hope that the groom’s religious leaders would be willing to have a more blended ceremony. I would still be okay if they did not want to d a blended ceremony. I would, however, request something along these lines, with just a rough guide for times
1pm-groom’s religious ceremony, probably the “legal” ceremony as well.
2pm-pagan ceremony
6pm-dinner and reception
In this case, if non-pagans did not want to go to the pagan ceremony, or non-(insert groom’s religion) did not want to go to that ceremony, I don’t think I would be as upset, because they would at least go to one wedding, and of course to the reception which would be Egypt themed, not really pagan themed (except the candle take-away).

In the best case, I would assume and hope that my fiancée and his family would at least respect my wishes to have my religious beliefs at least honoured in a wedding ceremony, either by combining beliefs, or having two ceremonies.

I suppose we’ll deal with that hurdle when we get there.

Makeshift Egyptian Ceremony

Date: August 1st, 2009.
First Month of Akhet, Djehuti, Day One
Location: Howard Johnson in Leamington
Written On: July 31, 2009

So, today is the Egyptian New Year, and one of three New Year ceremonies I celebrate. Today is also the day of my cousin Melissa’s wedding. So, because of that, I’m in Leamington; a small factory town just about 45 minutes north of Windsor.
So, I can’t have a big ceremony and feast for this New Years, which kind of sucks because I was hoping my mom and I would cook up a big feast with all of our favourite foods.
But, instead, I’m in a hotel room.
So, as to not break any possible rules, I’m writing a ritual for New Years without any candles or incense. How exciting! See, I love my candles and incense, but I also don’t want to get in trouble by the hotel staff, or have angry neighbours pounding on my door for “stinking up the floor”. But, this will help me be in touch with my oils and stones.

First off, I’m going to make a list of what I’ve packed, so that if I ever get caught in this situation again, I can refer to this list.
Basics
- Sea Salt
- Mini Egyptian statues (Bast, Anubis, Thoth and Isis)
- Large ankh
Oils
- Eucalyptus
- Bergamot
- Lemongrass

Stones
- Carnelian(1)
- Amethyst
- Zebra Agate
- Lapis Lazuli
- Malachite(tower and tumbled stone)
- Rose Quartz (ball)
- Hematite (1)
- Moonstone (1)
- Citrine (1)
- Sodalite
- Apatite
- Sunstone
- Ammonite
- Clear Quartz

Let’s plan the ceremony now!
I am going to put actions in regular type, and words spoken either verbally or mentally in italics.

Before this, take a nice bath or shower, and don’t get out until you feel really clean. Imagine the water washing away all the impurities from the past year. Dress either in ritual garb, or in comfortable clothes.
We arrange a mid-size work area. Upon our altar cloth, we lay out our stones, our bottles of oil, our holy water, our ankh and our miniature statues. Hopefully, we will have Timbits as an offering and New Years “feast”. Music is optional.
I like to position myself with my back against a wall or object that is against the wall, like a bed, so that I have a complete view of the area without having to worry about my back.
I am far from my home, and my temple, but today, the first day of the first month of the new year, I still must honour the Gods. Today, the star Sothis will rise over the homeland of Egypt, signalling the flooding of the Nile, the bloodline that sustains the country.
With your little finger, pick up a bit of the salted water and place it on the statues. Also, place some on your forehead. Sprinkle a little over the Timbits as well.
Though I am far from my temple, I ask for the Gods and Goddesses to join me in this ceremony. I also invite all spirits pure of heart and soul to join me here.
Center yourself. Feel the Gods, Goddesses and spirits. Let them speak to you, and greet them.
Today is also the day of my cousin’s wedding. This is the happiest day of her life, so please make this day and every day with her new husband joyous.
For the coming year, I don’t know what to ask for, so I’m going to cover the basics: happiness, love, health, and spirituality. I want to really become the person I should be.
Put a little bit of Bergamot oil on the statues, and over your heart. Bergamot is an oil of protection, money, and prosperity; all things we want for a New Year.
Eat a Timbit, slowly.
I thank the Gods for my “feast” of Timbits, and I invite everyone present to indulge in the offering.
Stand up, and place the Timbits on a surface for the spirits to eat. Return to your little “nest”, and start dealing your tarot cards for the upcoming year. I’m going to use the Animal Companions deck, and the Wheel of the Year spread, the second variation. Before you deal the cards, place a mixture of the oils eucalyptus and lemongrass on your third eye, to aid in psychic vision.
After you’ve dealt the cards, write them down in your traditional manner. Clean up your area, and pack everything up, except the Timbits (let the spirits indulge, and have a couple more yourself! This is your New Years feast, after all). You don’t have to analyse the cards just yet, as long as you have them written down, but if you wish, you may.
Now that everything is cleaned and packed back up, find a comfy place and relax; read a book, watch TV or a movie, analyse your tarot reading, anything.
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Well, this is the closest thing I could do to a real New Year’s celebration. I’m out of town, and in a hotel room. It’s rather spur of the moment, and there are probably a lot of elements that either don’t belong or are missing.
Think of this as a traveling ceremony, requiring small, compact things that fit in a suitcase.