You Might Be A Redneck Pagan If...

I found these here: http://www.ladyoftheearth.com/humor/redneck-pagan-giggles.txt and http://www.ladyoftheearth.com/humor/redneck-2.txt
Some of my favorites:
- Have you reached 3rd degree, but not 3rd grade?
- Is your altar pentacle a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
- Have you ever refilled your chalice from a keg?
- Does your God statue look a little too much like Elvis Presley?
-If you call the God & Goddess by hollerin' "Hey, Y'all! Watch me!"....
-If you worship the gods of cheap beer and Nascar.......
-If you have a combined Maypole Dance/Tractor Pull/Turkey Shoot for Beltane....
-If your craft name starts with Bubba.....
-If you buy your incense and candles at Wal-Mart.....
-If you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis"....
-If your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team....
-If your lawn is decorated with at least one, preferably two or more, plastic pink flamingos, whom you regard as your familiars....

:D